I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
