Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
