I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
