I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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