Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
