That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
