you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
