Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
