At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize