Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
