The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
