I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize