I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
