I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
