She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize