I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
