pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize