She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
