I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
