it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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