I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
