i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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