Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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