so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize