If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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