nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
