I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize