i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
