That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize