he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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