I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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