I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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