Whod you bang
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize