considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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