Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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