Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i believe in u and ur pee
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
