I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
