she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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