Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
