once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
