I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
