After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
