So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
