dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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