Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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