p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
