I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
