I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
