I hate your face
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
