She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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