is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
