well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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