i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
