honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize