Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
