youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
