I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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