Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
