So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
