i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
