I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
